qwerty schmerty

The QWERTY keyboard was created in the early 1870s by Christopher Latham Sholes. I wonder if Sholes had any idea the extinct to which his keyboard would be used?!

I can’t think of the last time I used a dictionary or an encyclopedia – and I look up words a LOT. But good ol’ Google or Dictionary.com help me find just about anything I want. Connecting with friends is so much easier – especially when it’s in the wee hours of the morning and I can’t sleep but thought of something I wanted to tell them. To the keyboard I go!

And yes, occasionally, keyboards are used for the wrong reasons. Searching for videos about mass explosions or simply typing something that hurt someone’s feelings. It seems I fall into the latter lately…

I stepped in it. Boy that’s a phrase I use way too often. I know my intentions were good. But I am sure they came across as bossy…again, my ever-present problem. I tried to encourage and I royally pissed off instead. The response was waaaaaaay out of sync with the original message. It was mad and accusatory and I didn’t like it one bit. I felt it best to not respond with explanations but rather to wish the person well, which I truly feel for them. Now I am just left with the yucky feeling of a relationship that got all twisty and misunderstood.

These are the moments when I envy the life of hermits like J.D. Salinger. I understand their need to withdraw; people can be so very confusing at times. The older I get, the more I am surprised at my desire to not fight back. I don’t worry as much that people think I am retreating in defeat. I know what my heart is, they don’t have to understand. But the ‘yuckiness’, post-misunderstanding, is like wading through muck in high boots. And not cute yellow Hunter boots. Big, clunky, camouflage boots that are hard to manipulate in the mud but keep you nicely hidden from the world.

Maybe it’s the back-to-back dreary days. Maybe it’s the new books I received in the mail yesterday. It just feels like a Day of Retreat. But here is another thing that has been a welcome friend as I grow older: the understanding that other people’s responses to things are in great part due to things happening in their lives and not necessarily about you at all. I think that is true in this case to a great extent. There are parts of the disagreement that I need to claim responsibility for. I should have kept out. (…again, an all-too-familiar phrase in my life…) but I stepped in out of concern for the other person. Clearly, I stepped in clumsily, but my heart meant to do good.

Am I using you for a sounding board? yes; I am sorry. But I hope you will find a nugget of encouragement somewhere in this post that we all get into quirky qwerty situations from time to time. It’s not just you. It’s not just me. And sometimes, it is best to take a step back and get out of the fray. Will they misunderstand your response? Maybe. Is it worth it to fight it until the bitter end? Rarely. Knowing when to say you’re sorry and step aside has been a lifelong lesson that I am still learning. Sometimes, lifting your fingers from the keyboard and picking up a good book is the right course of action.

A phrase I am hearing a lot lately is: “There’s so much negativity on instagram.” Truth is, there is so much negativity present in the world right now. Online fights and arguments and tweets. And if we don’t learn how to sift our way through the minefields of opinions without getting any schmuck on ourselves, then we are in for a long four years ahead. The Trickle Down Effect has never been so evident.

But two new books from Amazon and a cat that found her way into the KFC chicken at the bottom of the trashcan last night – well, they don’t talk back much. So I think I’ll curl up with both of them today and ‘J.D. Salinger’ it a bit.

Qwerty Schmerty. Tomorrow is another day………


social media

I…like many of you, I’m sure…have been avoiding many forms of social media lately. I’ve decided I need to go to it, rather than it come to me uninvited. The news is so overwhelming and it’s making us all crazed animals.

By 7am this morning, I had already been snarky on Facebook. I don’t like the way some people act (either passive aggressively or in-your-face) but I really don’t like the way I act and feel on Facebook. Why can’t I quit you, Facebook?! (raises fist to the air) I feel as if I need to go back and do a refresher course on niceness and kindness and I’ve been reading articles and books accordingly. I suppose until I can NOT say, “…and I wish a few other people would read those things too!”, then I still need to read a little more. 🙂

Last night I had a lovely dinner with a friend who I first met when we were in third grade. We didn’t meet online. We met in the doorway of the children’s wing of our church. I was new to the church; she introduced herself to me. We’ve been friends ever since. There were gaps in our friendship a few decades ago as we both were establishing new homes and families. But again, she called me out of the blue on my birthday and that was that – we’ve met every month or every other month through heartbreaks and parenting and life confusion and a millions joys in between. We don’t agree on all issues but we strongly agree on one thing: a mutual respect for the other person’s heart.

The lacking component of social media.

I am not bemoaning social media. It plays a big part in my life and has greatly expanded my view of the world. But often times I forget the significance of truly knowing a person before accepting or rejecting their opinions. It is one of the most important factors in friendship or in engaging with another person about their beliefs. First, I have to respect their opinion before I can become emotionally attached to it. I need to sift my knee-jerk reaction through that filter first: Is this someone I respect and know their heart and mind? If not, then it’s not worth the angst.

Today is Friday. Our weekend around here is Friday and Saturday, the days Scott has off work. I am deeply grateful for lazy mornings that don’t include a 3:30am alarm. A common question from one of us is, “What does today look like?” And then the planning conversation begins.

I hope your day looks like sunshine.

I hope your day looks like easy answers.

I hope your day looks like green lights and short carpool lines and ‘slashed prices’ on all your favorite things.

I hope your day looks like deep and abiding friendship with those you trust, respect and love. We could all use a little more of that in our opinion-laden world…

HAPPY WEEKEND, my friends!

friendship redefined

Grateful for afternoons after school talking to friends on a landline phone, cord stretched as far as possible…

Grateful for college friendships, born of avoiding studying and late night cram sessions…

Grateful for friendships so deep it breaks your heart when moves take you far apart…

Grateful for text messages and snail mail and life goals celebrated…

Grateful for a silly online app where a shared love of making a house a home develops into new friendships scattered worldwide.

Technology may change. Ways of communication take on different forms. But the bond of friendship between humans is forever consistent. 

I have been deeply grateful this week for humanly flawed but good-hearted people who continue to push me, pray for me, encourage me, challenge me and coax me out of my little spot in the world.

Deeply, deeply grateful. ❤