yield

I have a crazy sleep schedule. I read somewhere that Einstein slept a few hours. Worked a few hours. Then did it all again. I like to hold on to this idea & assume all geniuses work in this sleep-wonky way ☺

My husband drives 1.5 hours to work then repeats the drive in the evening. As a result, he gets up early & leaves at 4:30am. He leaves me sleepy-eyed & hair-crazed each morning as I lock the door behind him with a kiss. I used to fight against this schedule but it seems easier to stop pushing against it and surrender to its rhythm. I will nap again soon. After making a quick breakfast, I sit down with my planner & Jesus Calling devotional & slowly wake up. I like these first quiet moments of the day. Once Haddie is fed, she is happy to lay in her cat circled body on the carpet next to me, a genius herself with her many cat naps throughout the day. 

“…your part is to yield to my creative work in you. Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting me set the pace. Hold my hand in childlike trust…”

We are not certain how long Scott will be working in this nearby town before transferring back to KC. We have struggled with whether or not we should pack up & move there for a few years or stay put & endure the long days for now. It is a constant battle & prayer for discernment. “…your part is to yield…” Yes Lord, but yielding would be so much easier if you would give me a timeline of your plan. I’m more than willing to surrender to it, if you could just give me a heads up about what the plan looks like!

In ‘Chasing Calm’, Loechner writes about the struggles of parenthood: “It is difficult to persist when you can’t see a margin of time in your calendar.” Whether its parenting or jobs or illness or (insert concern here), the hard part is not the actual doing of it as much as the uncertainty as to when it will end. 

I turn back to our cat, lying peacefully on the floor & start to get sleepy. I know better than to drink my morning latte in these first few hours of my day. I surrender the bits of worry this morning to God & climb back into bed. First a nap. Then the day…

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